I was getting my hair cut the other day when my hair dresser suddenly burst out, “I am tired of waiting for my life to begin! I constantly put off the things I really want to do!”
Well…does that sound familiar to you? Does this apply in your own life? Without censoring yourself, what instantly popped into your thoughts as you read these words?
One of the primary themes that I hear from my clients is how they are not living the life they really want to live. We can justify putting aside our own life in all kinds of ways. Here are a few common examples I hear from clients:
“Well my spouse would not be happy if I took an art class on Monday evenings.”
“I had to turn down my full scholarship to college because my boyfriend was really pushing to get married now.”
“I miss my family but my wife doesn’t like my Mother so I really need to do what she wants.”
“There are so many tasks at home to get done that I never have a good time anymore.”
“I am 85 years old now and I wish I had _______________.”
People seem to think that taking action in their own life and for their own life will somehow negatively impact or damage their loved ones. Your loved ones have no idea what is in your mind and heart. They have no idea what you yearn for. They do not realize the interests that you have hidden within your heart. The only one impacted is you.
Last week a client told me that she completely stopped being herself to make her husband happy. “Did your husband become happy over those years?” I asked. “No he is still miserable.”
Giving yourself away will not make another person happy. In fact it will backfire on you. When we give ourselves away, a little bit here and a little bit there, over and over again, our loved one no longer has the person they fell in love with in the first place. The person you used to be no longer exists.
- You do not need to give more to yourself than you give to others. Just give to yourself in EQUAL AMOUNTS!
- Gently say “No, I cannot do that at this time.” Don’t explain or make excuses.
- Read something just for you even if there are dishes to be done.
- Join that group or that class that you have put off for 2 years and let your family cook for that night.
- Take that walk that you yearn for even if your spouse wants you to watch TV.
- Notice who you used to be and begin to take tiny steps to attend to the real you.
- Take back your true self and be the person your family and friends used to know.
With Love, Light and Laughter……